Those Crazy Impulses
by Silindro
Summary: Sometimes you get those crazy impulses. In Rogue and Jubilee's case, those impulses seem to involve the Wolverine. And shaving cream.


Standard disclaimers apply.  
  
a/n: Didn't come out the exact way I thought it would, but I am amused all the same. Maybe you will be too. Check out my website and my other X-Men fics too.  
  
~~--~~*~~--~~ Those Crazy Impulses ~~--~~*~~--~~  
  
"Is he out?"  
  
"Yeah, been down for about an hour. Jean really had to dope him up."  
  
"Ya'd think his healing factor woulda taken care of the problem."  
  
"Rogue, a tough cold calls for tough medication."  
  
"Why'd Jean give him the whole bottle?"  
  
"Nyquil's some rough stuff, so I assume she wanted to make sure he was really incoherent."  
  
"Maybe he recommended it himself because he likes the taste."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Rogue opened the cabinet door in Logan's bathroom and winced as a few of the bottles came tumbling out. They clunked on the floor loudly, narrowly missing her foot. Two of them began leaking onto the tile.  
  
"Hey, Christmas colors," Jubilee commented with a grin as she looked at the mess. "Nyquil makes a dandy eggnog."  
  
Rolling her eyes, Rogue commanded, "You get the stuff, I'll go make sure he's ready."  
  
Jubilee stood out of Rogue's way as the girl walked back into the main room. She had a seriously evil grin on her face as she lurked toward the bed. The wheels in her head were churning furiously with the mechanics of their plan.  
  
Reaching up to Logan's head, she pulled down the blankets around his face to clear the working area.  
  
"You done yet?"  
  
"Yeah, coming," Jubilee said as she left the bathroom.  
  
Checking Logan's eyelids, Rogue made sure that he wasn't going to wake up halfway through their procedure. It would not only be messy, but detrimental to her and Jubilee's health if he did. There would be blood. Lots of blood.  
  
Taking the damp rag that Jubilee held out, Rogue ran it over Logan's neck and cheeks. She coated the wet surface with shaving cream, and started in with her project.  
  
Shaving Logan's beard.  
  
The whole process took less than ten minutes, and Logan was very unconscious through the whole ordeal. It was going to be a surprise when he woke up. They only hoped that it wasn't them he suspected at first. Still, the cursing and violent temper were well worth seeing the Wolverine without his whiskers.  
  
"You are so bad," Jubilee giggled. "He is so gonna come after you."  
  
"Not if you keep your mouth shut about it."  
  
"Zipped."  
  
Making sure there were no traces of a break-in, or that they had even been there in the first place, the two girls left his room twenty minutes later. Of course, that was after the Polaroid had been taken. Maybe they would make copies of it in the future to post around the mansion. Entertainment for the generations of students yet to come.  
  
Scott was the first one to know that something was up. He had witnessed them leaving Logan's room with smiles on their faces and paranoid looks around the hallways. He valued his own life far too much to venture into Logan's room to see what had happened.  
  
A day and a half later Scott got his answer.  
  
They had all been sitting in the rec room watching 'Liar Liar' when the first yell had been heard. It was a very primal sound that had erupted from somewhere upstairs, and echoed down to their ears. Jubilee and Rogue had visibly sunk in their seats.  
  
No less than one minute later a very disheveled, woozy, and semi-clean- shaven Wolverine made his way through the doors, nearly breaking them from their hinges. There was a moment off silence as he looked around, searching intently for the two that he knew were the only ones brave enough to pull off a stunt as crazy as this.  
  
"You," he said dangerously, pointing at Rogue. "And you," pointing at Jubilee.  
  
"Y-yeah?" Jubilee answered.  
  
The eyes of the room were on the two girls, everyone grateful for it being anyone but themselves. Punishment at the hands of Wolverine was not a good thing.  
  
"There are obviously people in this mansion that don't value their lives much. I have a feeling that it's you two."  
  
"What ever gave ya that idea?" Rogue asked.  
  
"Only you two would be stupid enough to do something like this," he said, pointing at his face. "Now c'mere."  
  
Jubilee shook her head rapidly, standing up and backing away slowly. She grabbed the back of Rogue's shirt and pulled the girl from the couch. Together they ran as fast as their legs would take them, the Wolverine quick behind them. But he had no intentions of catching them. There were much better things that could be done. He was the king of sadism, after all.  
  
~~--~~*~~--~~  
  
Two weeks later the incident had been forgotten and tossed aside from the minds of those that had found it so funny in the beginning. Jubilee and Rogue had been paranoid the whole time. Logan had avoided them just for that purpose. If they were waiting for him to attack in the middle of the day, they were sorely mistaken.  
  
It was at breakfast on the fifteenth day that Scott realized something was up. Logan was way too happy at breakfast. The man had a malicious glint in his eye as he drank his coffee by the window, looking out at nothing at all. It was when the others began filing in the oversized dining room that Logan looked them over, obviously looking for someone. Ten minutes later, after breakfast had started, Scott knew who.  
  
"AHHHHHH!! MY HAIR!!"  
  
All eyes in the dining room went to Logan, waiting for some sign that he had something to do with the screaming. It was obvious that Jubilee was the one making all the noise. Still, the man in the window made no motion to look anywhere but out the window. Ten seconds later, everyone knew why. He was waiting.  
  
"OH MAH GOD!!"  
  
Logan turned at the second scream, obviously from Rogue, and grinned at everyone who was staring. He laughed quietly to himself before acknowledging what he had done.  
  
Darkly, he mimicked the motion of a razor while sounding a loud "Buzz buzz."  
  
~~--~~*~~--~~  
  
a/n: the little button down there is fun to press. Happy clicking! 


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